Thursday, July 21, 2011
"Well, that's the way it should be"
Yesterday, I called to tell him about our Mia, and her surgery. (Her surgery is set for August 23rd in case I hadn't put that out there yet....am kinda losing my mind here !!! lol) Fr. "D" was of course shocked to learn of what was going on, and that she needed surgery, etc. He immediately kicked in to his normal mode and started with "what do you need, what can I do?" My answer of course, "talk me off the ledge, then pray." He listened intently, and when I said, "I'm standing on faith and God's promises", he said "well, that's the way it should be." I said, "I'm confident that He hears all the prayers that are going up for her and that He is making His presence known." he said, "well, that's the way it should be." When I said, "I'm tired and I'm scared, because I don't know what lies ahead for my little girl", he said "well, that's the way it should be."
It didn't really matter what I threw at him, his answer was almost always the same. "Well, that's the way it should be." Towards the end of our talk, he gave me a "task", if you will. He said, I want you to think about our talk, and reason with yourself. Hmmm...."reason with myself". Interesting.
After the tears, the "I love yous" and the promises to keep him updated, we hung up. After Mia went to bed, I sat and did what he had asked. I thought hard about all that I had said....and all that he had said. It was then that it occurred to me, that 90% of what he had said was "well, that's the way it should be." As I 'reasoned' with myself it became clear that while it appeared he hadn't said "much", he had actually said a great deal. "Well, that's the way it should be" means that God's presence and gifts are being recognized, acknowledged and appreciated. It means, that we have accepted that this is bigger than us, and that we cannot do this alone. It means, that knowing your limitations isn't the same thing as "making excuses"...it's recognizing how much you need Him and those He sends to walk with you. And, that when you get tired and think you can't go on...He steps in, lifts you up, makes up the difference of what your short and helps you finish. And, in Father D's own special way, he was letting me know that I was ok. I'm not as weak, helpless, hopeless, tired and awful as I think I am. He wanted me to know that my faith is still in tact, that God is still with us, that He's going to see us safely through. He wanted me to know that I am loved. I get it.
So, I would be completely remiss if I didn't do the other things that I know God has asked of me.
1) Make it abundantly clear to each of you how treasured you are, and how grateful we are that you have chosen to walk with us through this storm. We are grateful, and we feel God through you. Your words of encouragement and love are His words. Your hugs, His hugs. Your prayers, His heart. Sincerely, thank you.
2) Remind myself and everyone else that this too will pass. Our Mia is in the best hands possible, and He is loving her with a Father's heart, and will hold her in his hand.
3) Remind anyone and everyone who reads this, that He will do the same for you. Mia's sufferings and triumphs will be a testament to God's love and mercy and healing, and you will all encounter Him as you walk with us. He loves you with a Father's love, and He holds you in his hand.
And lastly, I'll just put out there my 'philosophy' and outlook on God's plan and will for my life: I may not always know it. I may not always understand it. And, sometimes, I may not even like it. But, I will always, ALWAYS trust it.
And... well, that's the way it should be.
Thank you for loving us, for riding this storm out with us, for helping us keep watch for the rainbow that WILL come, and thank you, for being a miracle for our Mia !! ;)
With a Mommy's heart,
Posted by Gina Jay at 11:34 PM