Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Visit from July 12, 2011

Thank you all so very much for continuing to track our Mia's progress !!!!
We love and appreciate you all so much and we feel your love and prayers !!!

Yesterday's visit was "informative" if nothing else.  We met with "a" surgeon, but he isn't going to be "the" surgeon.  Since he specializes in complex "spine issues", he would prefer that Mia be seen and operated on by one who specializes in complex "hip issues"...naturally, we agreed.  It was decided that Mia would be referred to their hip "team", a team of 2 doctors who would both perform the surgery.  We do know that her surgery will be the 3rd week in August, although we do not have a definite date as of yet.  We do, however, have a date to meet with the actual surgeon, which is August 15th.  Her surgery will be sometime the following week.
Yesterday's doctor was kind enough to try to clarify a few things for us...such as surgery lasting "approx." 4 hours....hospital stay would be "approx." 2 days....cast time would be "approx." 6 weeks, and then she would go into a "brace" of which no real specifics were discussed.  He said that the actual surgeon would be better able to better answer these questions, which makes sense, since he'll be one doing the surgery.
Now, since this blog is very therapeutic for the frustrations that go along with this whole ugly process, and since my feelings are my own, and I'm entitled to them, I will say that I am somewhat angry at the thoughts of watching her suffer for another 5 weeks.  I'm trying desperately to be 'sensible' about the surgery, the necessity of it, how "she's on the right road", and "going to be so much better" afterwards.  Our 'heads' understand that...truly they do.  However, our 'hearts' aren't on board.  Our hearts care nothing about "sensibility" right now.  Our hearts see the pain our daughter suffers EVERY day.  Our hearts ache with her EVERY night while she cries for relief.  Our hearts don't understand the wait, and can't figure out what to do to make it better in the meantime.  We hate watching our child suffer.  We hate watching her fall down and get bruise after bruise, because her legs won't hold her up.  We hate waiting for her relief.  We hate and don't understand the 'wait'.
There is, however, one thing we do understand, and that is faith.  We understand that it takes a complete and total surrender to stand on faith.  It means, "accepting that which you cannot change, courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference."  Faith is what helps us continue forward, knowing that God is in control, and that NOTHING escapes Him....He sees all, handles all, and is all !  And, while our hearts are troubled, we remain committed in faith, that God has this !!! He has our Mia, He has us, and He will oversee every aspect !!!!
In the meantime, we are challenged with one task...."Be Still, and know that I AM God". 
And so we will.

Thank you for letting me rant, rave and blow off a little steam.  But, most importantly, thank you for walking this with us, and reminding us that we are not alone !!
Each one of you is treasured....and we thank you so much for being a miracle for our Mia !!!

With a Mommy's heart,
xoxoxo

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